The Protest Babes of Hanchongryeon!

May this be the year the stranglehold of the dour anti-sex leaguers that darken the land from Kandahar to Amherst is broken by the Protest Babes, who shall cast off their veils, burkas, and hopefully those ridiculous Che Guevara t-shirts. Let them spread freedom from Beirut to Bishkek to Tehran, and then on to Beijing! Let us fervently hope for 2005 to be The Year of the Protest Babes!  

Being that this is a Korea blog, I decided to search for local signs of this phenomenon. Indeed, Korea isn’t modest about using the beauty of its women to promote its image. Take Miss World Cup on the left, for example.

But can a protest movement that’s all about delaying the spread of democracy–and for some, about throwing it away altogether–harness the awesome power of the Protest Babe? Do the forces of democracy still have an edge? Is there something about democracy that’s inherently sexier than totalitarianism?

Today, you are the jury, as OFK’s April 1st Special Edition presents the Protest Babes of Hanchongryeon!

First, in this stunning black sackcloth Mao suit, is Miss Han Sseun-Yak, a graduate student in Peace Studies and Tunnel Construction Engineering at Munsan Polytechnic University. Miss Han giggled shyly when we asked about her reported skill with the cobra-venom spiked shoes she wore to this rally, but don’t let her modesty fool you. Her turn-ons include class warfare, men with fencing scars, and fluffy white cats. Chief among her many turn-offs were trap doors over pirhana-infested pools and organizations that tolerate failure.

The young woman in the form-fitting red T-shirt at left is holding a sign that says “Bush’s new poodle: Roh Moo-Hyun,” proving that beneath skin-deep superficality, one often finds that the superficiality is in fact bone-deep.

Still, both of these women told us of their long hours of sacrifice to preserve the bucolic life of the North Korean peasant class. In fact, they can be seen faithfully stapling signs together at the student union every Friday and Saturday night. Without fail.

It is axiomatic that bullhorns do not emit intelligent thoughts, no?

Something for the ladies! It wasn’t easy interviewing these hunky young patriots over the thud of riot sticks and the warm crackle of the Molotov cocktails, but we were curious about whether the Hanchongryeon Love Train has been as big a boon their social lives as we suspect.

Although they weren’t able to answer us verbally, they still managed to speak volumes about their social lives without words. Yes, revolution does require sacrifice.