Reading Oh My News: Bad for the Blood Pressure

I haven’t written anything substantial about the terror attacks in London because I just don’t know what I could say that hasn’t already gone through every sane mind in the civilized world. I don’t ask, “Why do they hate us?” I ask, “What the f*uck is wrong with them?”

Predictably, OhMyNews brings fevered minds out of their padded cells and onto the Internet, where their stupidity pretty much disproves the silly idea that talking to one another is the key to bridging our differences. Fact is, connecting the world and travelling abroad have turned me into a full-throated American nationalist, convinced of how depraved and bigoted much of the world really is, and how much more we should be doing to make sure that those who can’t adapt to our values stay fenced out. OhMyNews commenters Jack and Jeon are two of them.

My response:

Let me see if I get this. Bush, who was inaugurated in 2001, managed to trigger a global war against Muslims that has produced the WTC bombing in 1993, the embassy bombings in Kenya and Tanzania in 1999, the Cole bombing in 2000, and 9/11, which took place eight months after Bush’s inauguration (and for those to you like Jack and Jeon, who are exceptionally slow, these events all took place before the U.S. invaded Iraq or Afghanistan). It’s odd that those who consider Bush too stupid to sit in the Oval Office now consider him capable of time travel. Maybe Rove does that part.

I suppose Bush also motivated those who bought down the two Russian airliners, bombed the Russian trains, or shot the kids in the back at Beslan. We all know how much influence Bush has over Vlad Putin, a man who levelled the entire city of Grozny and left much of its population buried in the rubble with barely a murmur in the foreign press. Before Bush was inaugurated, of course.

Let’s extend the argument further. The “religion of peace” has been sending child bus-bombers to their deaths in crowded airports, on airliners, and in parking garages for decades now. Just once, I’d like to see a Muslim of some standing condemn terrorism with the fervor that we saw directed against, say, Salman Rushdie.

What I’m curious about is that those looking for a scapegoat–I mean, other than the bloodly-minded pathology that infects the Middle Eastern mind–never accuse the Soviets. They’re the ones who (pretty much intentionally) slaughtered 2 million Afghans and sowed all the fields with anti-personnel mines. I seem to recall that some pretty depraved things were cooked up in Afghanistan around the time G.W. Bush was running for governor of Texas.

Seriously, Jack and Jeon: What is it like to be that stupid? Do you often find yourself fonding small, shiny objects out of pure compusive fascination?