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Open Sources: Two Thumbs Up for P.J. Crowley

The week’s most interesting North Korea rumor relates to Kim Jong Chol, who was recently spotted at a Clapton concert in Singapore, occupying a seat whose price could have fed every homeless orphan in Chongjin for a month:

Japan’s Fuji TV caught up with Jong-chol at an Eric Clapton concert in Germany in June 2006. The broadcaster reported that he appeared to suffer from a condition where his body secreted abnormally large amounts of female hormones, causing his physique and voice to become feminine, possibly as a result of steroid abuse prompted by his fascination with Belgian actor Jean Claude Van Damme.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that! The news of Jong-Chol’s night on the town seems to have revived the Obama Administration’s campaign promise to talk to our enemies anytime, anywhere. Yet somehow, I don’t think the hippies right-thinking people who applauded then were expecting these tweets from the poison thumbs of State Department spokesman P.J. Crowley:

#KimJongIl’s son attended an #EricClapton concert in Singapore? Actually, the #DearLeader himself would benefit from getting out more often.”

Now that’s my kind of diplomacy! And there’s more:

“Of course, there is nothing preventing #KimJongIl from opening up #NorthKorea so his people could enjoy #Clapton, and maybe get more to eat.”

How much do you have to hate peace to be so impudent? This is no less devastating than “hellish nightmare” or “axis of evil.” Just imagine the howls if John Bolton had said that! But this year, crickets and Selig Harrison will chirp, and that will be all. As it should be.

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Put this one in your “the sanctions are working” file:

As North Korea suffers from drought and food shortages, Kim Jong-Il may be turning to rip-off luxury goods for his gift bag. The Associated Press reports that for the past three months North Korean officials have been purchasing clothing and textiles, including fake Gucci and Armani suits, in bulk from Beijing’s Silk Street market.

Yeah, well, I guess they need the money for animal feed (for the soldiers, no doubt). In North Korea, that’s called progress. More here.

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How do you walk through a mine field without blowing yourself up, unless you know where not to walk?

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I don’t care what your political views are: Justin Beiber’s Obama impression is spot on. It cramps my fingers to say this, but the kid (I mean Bieber) isn’t completely untalented after all.

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5 Responses

  1. Last night BBC News had on a woman from the WFP to discuss the food situation in North Korea. The anchor asked the representative point blank how the WFP plans to ensure that food aid ends up in the hands of those who need it and is not being diverted to the military. The question was quickly sidestepped and instead the representative prattled on about micronutrient formulas. The take-home message I got was that the WFP doesn’t care who it feeds so long as it is feeding someone.

  3. Too many.
    See the latest Good Friends:
    In Chungjin City, North Hamgyong Province, many, including vagrant youths commonly dubbed “kkotjebie[s],” have been gathering at the Gimchaek Steel Mill in order to combat the brutal weather with the warmth of left-over ashes. Kkotjebies usually lay sheets of vinyl on top of the ashes to use as beds, but this practice sometimes results in fires when the ashes come in contact with their clothes. Every day, children wait at the mill and struggle to take their share of the newly discarded ashes. The fresher the ash is, the hotter. Lately, kkotjebies have been roaming around in groups, resulting in gang fights over who gets first dibs at the ash. Some children say they prefer traveling with their groups instead of staying at welfare institutions, where food is scarce and life is strictly regimented. Homeless adults travel alone, while kkotjebie groups tend to be in their teens or twenties. These groups scavenge for food around the Soonam Market during the day and spend their nights at the Gimchaek Steel Mill.

  4. If Eric Clapton ever played in Pyongyang, his song “Innocent Times” would provide a fitting summary of the dismal quality of life in North Korea: “With no freedom to laugh, there’s more reason to cry.”

  5. well, i don’t know about “spot on”, it was almost like he gave Obama a slight Jimmy Carter drawl in there- kind of like what Dan Aykroyd did on SNL.