KCNA: Newman deported from North Korea

Via KNCA (ht Yonhap), Merrill Newman has won the grand prize in North Korea’s national lottery.

Pyongyang, December 7 (KCNA) — As already reported, a relevant institution of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea (DPRK) detained and investigated U.S. citizen Merrill Edward Newman who entered the DPRK under the guise of a tourist to confirm the whereabouts of the spies and terrorists who had been trained and dispatched by him, an intelligence officer, during the last Korean War.

According to the investigation, Newman entered the DPRK with a wrong understanding of it and perpetrated a hostile act against it.

Taking into consideration his admittance of the act committed by him on the basis of his wrong understanding, apology made by him for it, his sincere repentance of it and his advanced age and health condition, the above-said institution deported him from the country from a humanitarian viewpoint. -0-

Second prize is a round-trip ticket.

There’s nothing like a nice long interrogation to cure a Madonna Complex. I’m glad he’s coming home safely. Now, stay the f**k out of North Korea, people.