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Psalm for a Lost Utopia

And the era of cowboy diplomacy ended, and the war-gods were banished from the great city, and the world was uplifted on the wings of Hope and Change. And utopia dawned across Mother Gaia, and our wisest emissaries were sent to talk to our enemies rationally, carrying the word of His love and promises of much treasure. And all was calm and placid. Peace was at hand, double rainbows shone over the sacred mount, and stimuli of expropriated cheese and extra lotus rations were tossed out to the masses, until:

North Korea has begun fueling a long-range rocket for an impending launch, a news report said Thursday, as President Barack Obama warned the liftoff would be a “provocative act” that would generate a U.N. Security Council response. [….]

Regional powers have also begun to deploy ships to monitor the launch, and Japan is preparing to intercept any debris that might fall if the launch goes awry — moves that have prompted several threats of retaliation from Pyongyang, including one Thursday. [AP, Jae Soon Chang]

A wicked emperor had harshed the great mellow that had settled upon Mother Gaia, though even the cowboy’s emissaries had borne great vats brimming with tribute to the wicked emperor’s palace to appease him. And a few among the masses began to taunt Him, “why wouldst thou squander our treasure on this wickedness, as the departed cowboy hath done?” And a few among the masses grew weary of their lotus rations and awakened forthwith to see that His love had not cleansed Gaia of wickedness. And the wicked emperor mocked Him and frightened the masses by threatening to smite them with “thunderbolts of fire” (the wicked emperor was not as eloquent as our Savior).

In the great city, the war-gods’ spies began to whisper that the Savor’s emissaries knew not what they were doing, and verily, there was much confusion among the Savior’s emissaries.

And the emissaries of Hope and Change could do nothing but brandish the rusting swords and the dreaded Proliferation Security Initiative of the banished war-god Bolton, who mocked their sermons and talking points from his place of banishment, though few could hear him through his eccentric mustache.

And our Savior cried out to the wicked emperor, “Why hast thou forsaken me? Didst thou not endorse my candidacy?” And He knew then that the wicked emperor’s heart was devious, like the aldermen of Chicago. For just as the aldermen had endorsed him so as to seek his favor, the wicked emperor had sought only to sow weakness among those whose buxom lasses, streaming online porn, and other stuff he coveted. And the wicked emperor feared not His commandments, nor the sanctions of the United Nations, and defied His warning of a “stern, unified” response.

For His words were of no meaning to the wicked emperor, who did not believe. And there was much wailing and dejection among the lotus-eaters.

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10 Responses

  1. Why launch a bal. missile? Is this simply extortion? Give me aid money and we will close the hangar doors. I get that he doesn’t believe the Hungarian Peach will impose sanctions but with NGOs pulling out what can he gain? Has this cowgirl been out on the range too long to believe the naked emperor is simply crazy?

  2. I agree with B.R. Myers on this much: it’s mostly for domestic consumption, though I think Myers underestimates the degree to which this is about Kim’s own self aggrandizement. But of course, extortion works.

  3. I think the whole Obama messiah thing is going way too overboard by the far right. And the blasphemy is also surprising given that the far right claims to be the most religious. Obamites and Bushites are the same, both are extremists. However you never heard of Left wingers making Saviour linkings to Bush, even though he had just as many signs if not more than Obama for being the anti-christ.

  5. Listener, I don’t know what planet you have been on for the past 8 years. Bush was demonized by the Left with the most irrational rhetorical excesses in US history. The satire about Obama’s ‘messianic’ expectations is a fair poke at his own exalted claims and the bloated quasi-religious fervor with which the ACORN/Chris Matthews coalition regards him.

  6. Quickly — I don’t think Bush’s people put out a lot of promo material during his campaigns trying to make him look like he had a halo over his head or promoted him as some kind of savior… As I remember it, I don’t think the Obama as savior was an invention by the far right but by Obama’s people and adoring fans in the press…

    But, on the subject of “Why launch a bal. missile? Is this simply extortion?”

    I think extortion is just the short-term goal of what the North is doing. The real long term strategic goal is like I just wrote in another comment here: to gain more freedom of action in East Asian by convincing the American people (and world body) that going to war with the North would be too costly – regardless of what the North does.

    The North believes having a demonstrated working nuclear bomb device will go a long way to deterring the United States from invading – perhaps even if they were to – say – invade the South i USFK were ever to pull out.

    Showing America it has the raw capability to hit somewhere in the United States mainland with a nuke is an even better deterrent.

    And this is a somewhat proven strategy on its part:

    If it has kept up with what the think tanks and talk heads have said about it over the years, which it surely has, it will have noticed that people already consider the North’s military threat strong enough to make using military force against it only something to do as a very, very last resort.

  7. April 5, 2009, NK fires a three-stage rocket over Japan. Why? I don’t think NK’s primary reason is domestic consumption. Mr. Kim does not necessarily require “domestic consolidation of power,” although a hyped-up show like this can be useful in grooming his son and keeping a tight rein on those even slightly susceptible to ideological infiltration.

    NK’s political system is quite stable, although its economy is in shambles. In shoring up domestic support or galvanizing the hungry public, sporting events or cultural festivals are more effective than military breakthroughs. The former exercises no influence on the US, while the latter captures the full and undivided attention of the world’s greatest military power. In other words, Rocket Man Kim’s main “target” is the US. Secondary target may be Iranians and other potential buyers.

  8. “Quickly — I don’t think Bush’s people put out a lot of promo material during his campaigns trying to make him look like he had a halo over his head or promoted him as some kind of savior… As I remember it, I don’t think the Obama as savior was an invention by the far right but by Obama’s people and adoring fans in the press…”

    those ads featuring Obama as a rockstar and pillar of human destiny were actually Mccain ads mocking him if I recall correctly.